Monster
by crazililwabbit
Summary: A younger Vilkas struggles with his new beast blood and finds that even knowledge won't help when the wolf inside you wants to take over. This is a part of a series of stories I am doing that tie together. (Wolf Dreams, Until The Daybreak and Eat You Alive) If you enjoy this please take the time to read the others as well! One-Shot. Vilkas/OC.


I just wanted to note for any of you who haven't noticed. This story is one piece of a series that includes the other stories Wolf Dreams, Until The Daybreak and Eat You Alive. There is a timeline posted in my bio to help you understand the way the stories fit together. Thanks and enjoy!

* * *

VILKAS

He rested his elbows on the edge of the bar and ran his fingers through his hair. 'Come on, get it together.' He chastised himself. 'It hasn't even been a week, you have to give it time.'

He took another drink from the tankard in front of him and looked around the great hall of Jorrvaskr. There weren't many of the Companions around tonight. Skjor was out with Farkas, training him in the hunt and the only two other present in the drinking hall were Vignar and Brill, neither of which would make the company he desired tonight.

'Kodlak' He remembered. 'Kodlak might be in his quarters.' He stood, picked up his tankard and headed to Kodlak's room.

* * *

"You need to give yourself time Lad." Kodlak patted Vilkas on the shoulder. "You have just joined the circle and are still adjusting to the beast blood."

"Aye, but I don't understand how Farkas can take to it so easily when I struggle." He slumped down into the chair next to the one Kodlak had sat in.

"Farkas is all heart and brawn." He smiled. "He doesn't have the smarts to interfere with the wolf inside himself. They easily become one."

"But is it normal?" Vilkas asked, desperate for some answers. "Is it normal for me to shift uncontrollably and black out when I am a wolf?"

Kodlak leaned back in his chair and scratched his chin. "I have not heard of someone having as much trouble as you Lad. But that doesn't mean you will always have trouble." He smiled. "As I said, give it time. You will come to trust and depend on your wolf."

"I can hear the blood calling me, Kodlak." He rested his head in his hands. "I can hear the moon and the hunt call for me. I don't want to turn and never return to my natural state."

Kodlak grew serious. "You need to relax." He leaned across the table that was between them and spoke quietly. "If you continue to fret and over think you just might force your beast to take over."

"That's exactly what I am afraid of!" He exclaimed and stood up. "What if I can never control my beast blood!?" He yelled before storming out of the room.

Kodlak shook his head and chuckled. "Between those two lads, you have Ysgramor himself."

Vilkas smoothed his hair back with some water and sighed. 'Hold it together.' He repeated to himself. 'Just focus on seeing Kloe tonight and tomorrow you can ask Skjor to help you understand your wolf better.'

He climbed the stairs to the main level of Jorrvaskr and headed for the door. Images of her face were already flooding his mind and he couldn't help but smile and feel better.

* * *

KLOE

She could hardly contain her excitement as she walked with Aela to Whiterun.

"How many times have you been to see him now?" Aela asked.

"This will be our third meeting since the first time we met at my family's farm." She smiled at her best friend.

"And you did say he was a member of The Companions?" She asked excitedly.

"Yes. He's lived there since he was a child. He said something about his father leaving to fight in the war and never coming home." She walked a little faster as the wind picked up and grew a little chillier.

"I will be a Companion one day." Aela danced further ahead of Kloe. "Just like my mother."

"I know," Kloe smiled. "And you will be the greatest war maiden to ever live!"

Aela struck a pose in the middle of the road. "Yes I will!" She called. The girls laughed as they continued making their way closer to the city.

Kloe and Aela's families lived near one another on the outskirts of the area Whiterun oversees. They were the closest neighbors to one another and therefore spent a lot of time together. Alea spent her days hunting in the forest with her father while Kloe helped her mother and brother with their small farm. The girls had become fast friends, spending their nights together speaking of things they dare not share with another, sharing their hopes and sadness with one another.

"How many summers did you say he is?" Aela fell back alongside Kloe.

"Twenty-Four." She smiled again.

"That's five summers older than you!" Aela teased.

"I'll be twenty this summer!" Kloe argued. "Besides, when my parents married my father was eight summers older than my father!"

Aela gasped. "You think you'll marry him!?" She exclaimed in girlish delight.

"I didn't say that!" Kloe blushed. "Don't put words in my mouth!"

Aela's laugh rang loud and cut through the crisp night air.

"That's him!" Kloe grabbed her friends arm. "Right there, waiting by the fence." She tried to point discreetly.

"Oh!" Aela smiled. "He's tall!"

"Not as tall as you." Kloe poked her friend in the side. "I think you're half giant."

"Hey! I am a Nord, we are supposed to be tall!"

"Whatever." Kloe chuckled.

"Have fun with your Companion." Aela began to branch herself away from her friend. "I'll be in Whiterun when you're ready to meet up at the Bannered Mare."

"Okay." She waved to her friend who was now running towards the gates of the city.

She could feel her cheeks warm and her skin flush as she grew closer to Vilkas.

* * *

VILKAS

He clutched the lavender and blue mountain flowers he had collected on his walk here. He could see Kloe walking towards him with her friend, Aela. His stomach began to tighten as she came closer, he had loved her since he first laid eyes on her. Her family had been having trouble with frost spiders invading their farm and they had hired The Companions to help fight them off. The job was given to Farkas, and when Farkas approached him with fear present in his eyes Vilkas couldn't say no.

"_I'll do it this once Farkas." He smiled at his brother. "You need to get over this fear you have of the things."_

"_I am trying. Really." He handed Vilkas the small map to the farm. "They're just so hairy and crawly… and all those legs." He shuddered._

Vilkas chuckled at the memory.

"Hello." Kloe smiled at him.

"Hello Lass." He smiled back, feeling his cheeks warm at the sight of her. "These are for you." He held out the flowers for her.

"Oh, Vilkas!" She cooed. "They're beautiful!" She took them from him and smelled them. "Thank you!"

"Anything for you." He held out his arm for her.

She pursed her lips in a small smile and too his arm.

"I thought we'd go for a walk tonight." He motioned down the road. "Nothing long, I just needed some air and your company."

"A walk would be wonderful." She smiled up at him.

He loved her green eyes, and they were a wonderful emerald color at night. Her long brown hair was braided and wrapped in a bun at the back of her head and he couldn't help but imagine what it would look like down, he loved long hair.

They walked in quiet for a bit, listening to the night birds and watching the few foxes that were out scamper away when they grew too close.

He couldn't imagine spending his life with another.

* * *

KLOE

She loved how kind he was. He walked slowly so she could keep in time with him and pointed out all the different flora he had learned about from his books.

"This one here makes a great addition to mead," He pointed to a small orange flower. "gives it a nice kick."

She laughed and smiled. "Oh!" She pointed to a bug that was flying out in a field, she had never seen one like it. "What's that?"

"That's a torchbug." He came to a stop so they could look at it. "They're common around here."

"Here, hold these for me." She handed him her flowers. "I am going to try and catch it." She lifted her skirts and made her way into the field after the little floating bug.

Vilkas stayed behind on the road and watched. After about ten minutes of unsuccessful attempts she turned to look at him. "Are you coming?"

"Aye, forgive me Lass." He called. "I got lost there for a bit." He began to make his way toward her.

She laughed. "Lost in what?"

"Just thoughts." He handed her the flowers. "I have been dealing with some things the past week and they have been weighing heavily on me."

"Oh." She was a little taken a back. This was the first time he had mentioned any troubles to her, even in their letters they had been exchanging since their last meeting he hadn't said anything. "Anything I can help with?"

"No." His face contorted slightly. "Maybe someday I can explain, but for now Companion dealings need to remain such."

Now she understood. She knew he couldn't talk about certain aspects of what he did with The Companions, some of the jobs they took on required discretion.

"Well." She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "If you ever need to talk, let me know."

"Aye, Lass." His face contorted a little more. "I will."

* * *

VILKAS

The tightening in his chest began when she placed her arm in his and he couldn't shake it. He hoped the walk would soothe the beast blood that was calling out to him and he wouldn't have to cut their meeting short, but it hadn't.

The tingling began when he watched her head into the meadow, the instinct to hunt was pulling at him and he could feel the moon above him, calling out to his wolf.

'No.' He stated to himself. 'You will just have to wait.' But the rising need to shift worried him. He needed to get her back to Whiterun so he could go out for a hunt.

She called to him and the heat in his blood rose. He needed to get her back, now.

He was aware of his movements towards her as if he were in a dream. She smiled at him and spoke with him, but it was like the words coming out of his mouth were not his own. He could feel her hand in his and the raging in his mind grew.

'No!' He called out in his mind. 'Oh, Talos, please no!' His vision went black.

* * *

He awoke naked and sitting in his own fur. He was in the woods somewhere, judging from the moon it was just south of the city. He stood up and shook his head, trying to clear the fog from his mind. He inhaled and allowed the air to escape his lungs quickly. The brisk air did him good, cleared his head. He could tell from the ache in his bones it had been a hard change and he began to set about scattering the fur so as not to alert hunters that he had been there.

He wasn't two steps away from his fur nest when he stepped in mud. "Damn it." He muttered. "Nothing like being naked in the woods, covered in…" his voice trailed off as his nose caught the scent of blood. It was strong enough that when he got a full whiff of it, it made him gag.

'What did I catch?!' He strained to remember before the shift, who was he out hunting with? 'No one.' He remembered frowning, Skjor and Farkas were out together and Kodlak had spoken with him earlier.

"After speaking with Kodlak…" He pushed his memory and began to look around. "I went back to my room and began to…" He froze in his tracks. "Kloe." He breathed.

She was laying on a rock, her body broken in half and the chest cavity emptied. Her eyes were open, staring up to the sky and her mouth was open in a silent scream.

Vilkas fell to his knees, in shock. His chest began to hurt and he could feel his stomach turn. He fell onto his hands and vomited, emptying his stomach.

He returned to a sitting position and pulled his knees to his chest. The pain in his chest grew as his lungs went longer and longer without air. Eventually they forced him to suck in a gulp of it, making a sickening sound followed by a wail. He crawled to her broken body. He sobbed as he pulled her down from the rock and held her to himself.

"Vilkas!" He heard the voice calling to him, but it didn't matter.

"Vilkas…" Farkas called, stepping into the small clearing. "By Talos." He breathed, taking in the scene.

* * *

Vilkas sat in the very same chair he had sat in earlier that evening while speaking with Kodlak.

"What's done is done." The Harbinger bellowed. "There is nothing to be done about it now."

"What about the girls family?" Skjor asked.

Kodlak stopped pacing and looked sadly at his fellow Companion. "We will tell them it was wolves."

"Yes Harbinger." He turned a walked out of the room.

"Vilkas." Kodlak knelt before him. "It wasn't you, Lad." He rested his hand on Vilkas' knee. "It was your beast."

"I couldn't stop myself." Vilkas mumbled. "I could feel it coming and I couldn't stop it."

"I am to blame Lad." Kodlak returned to his chair. "You reached out to me in frustration and I gave you no assistance." He rested his head on his hand. "You are no more to blame than a man who is over powered when bandits enter his home."

Vilkas rose from his chair. "I will never allow my beast to control me again."

"And we will help you Lad." Kodlak took his arm. "We are family Vilkas, we will get you through this, and one day you will move past it."

"I don't want to move past it." Vilkas mumbled. "To move past is to forget, and if I forget what has happened tonight then I have allowed the animal inside me to win."


End file.
